Seladoure's definiton of Life;
life [lahyf] Show IPA noun, plural lives [lahyvz] Show IPA , adjective
–noun
1. the course of existence in which one either lives for, or for no purpose at all.
I feel like I'm alone in all of this.
It's all my fault.
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I can't stress enough how hard it is to convince myself that I'm not being an annoying asshole to everyone. Perhaps, I am. I'm giving up on things too easily these days. Some people say, "No, Seladoure, don't give up." but just saying that to me isn't going to make a difference. I might go ahead and say, "Fine, I won't." and believe me, I try. But without the right motivation, my heart is pushing my emotions, my feelings for things and for people, away from me.
I enjoy my friends very much, I really do. I mean it with my heart and soul when I say, "I love you!" to them. No, I'm not IN love with any of them, but I do love them all to death. But what have I done for them? Maybe I've just BEEN there as a friend, but there must be more I can do. I'm lousy and ignorant with a lot of things, but people never tell me. I really wish they did though, and I want them to force me to change.
I want nothing more than to feel happier, but nothing or hardly any one is doing that. I already have the best friends I could ask for, but I also...want...
...someone I can hold onto, someone that can make me feel comfortable and happy by just being in their presence. I want someone I can cuddle, kiss, and think about nonstop. Someone that will mean the entire world to me, and someone who can show me that life is worth living. I want that person to be my purpose in life. It's all I ask, nothing more. I just don't know who, and when.
But I want to know, very soon. <3
I want to live freely and smile without it hurting. I want to feel like I'm not a burden, that people enjoy my latency. Earth is complicated, society is corrupted, and the few on this planet that actually care about the epitome of life are now lost, but they will find their way. All they need is to escape. xx
