fml.

I made a sacrifice yesterday, hoping that, to make up for the sorrow, I could gain back the beautiful friendship I longed for.

Instead, I lost the battle. I lost my importance, my existence, and most regrettably, my best friend.

This is a nightmare come true.

I wish it didn't have to end this way.

OMFG NEW CRAPPY BLOG WITH NO STYLE!!

I feel so...bleeeh, these days. I feel the need to host a free mp3 download every time I post a blog so people can enjoy it more. XDDDDD I'll start that next blog.

Hmmm, what to say. WEELLLLLLL....summer school is finally over! And I never thought I'd say that! haha. It really kills break. But at least there are two weeks left. YUSSSSSS *Napoleon Dynamite*

I also cut my hair! My previous hairstyle was SOOOOOO boring AND annoying, so i decided to thin it out and have sort of a punk-ish bob. HAHA! BOB. XDDDDDD

Also I got my phone back! Whoooochyeaa!!

So if you wanna text, send me a direct message on my twitter [twitter.com/seladoure] with your number, and feel free to follow me as well. ;D

Anyway, let's see. How's my life? It's fine! A bit obstacle-ish here and there but I'm trained in those areas. See, I don't find my way past them in a common-sense kind of manner...I just like to burn them down (: if you know what I mean.

I know you said something, I caynt hee-ya, if you aint tawkin moneh, i aint really tryna hee-ya.

OH, OH, TAWKIN OUT DA SIDE OF YO NECK!

That's a song. Hahahaha.

Yeah moving on :D

So this thursday i'm planning to go Ala Moana with Heather and Patrika, possibly Chris and Leoven, and anyone else I have yet to inform. I'm looking forward to it, especially since school starts. Although I'm very excited, and I'm happy that I'm finally a seniour! gah (: and I'm possibly switching to half-schedule by second quarter, so I'm really happy about that.

I'm sooo tired and I'm going to continue updating tomorrow. x___x I love you guys that refer your knowledge of me on myspace and Twitter from my blog! Thanks sooooo much <3

xx Seladoure

everything ceases.

Seladoure's definiton of Life;

life  [lahyf]  Show IPA noun, plural lives  [lahyvz]  Show IPA , adjective

–noun

1. the course of existence in which one either lives for, or for no purpose at all.

I feel like I'm alone in all of this.

It's all my fault.

-----

I can't stress enough how hard it is to convince myself that I'm not being an annoying asshole to everyone. Perhaps, I am. I'm giving up on things too easily these days. Some people say, "No, Seladoure, don't give up." but just saying that to me isn't going to make a difference. I might go ahead and say, "Fine, I won't." and believe me, I try. But without the right motivation, my heart is pushing my emotions, my feelings for things and for people, away from me.

I enjoy my friends very much, I really do. I mean it with my heart and soul when I say, "I love you!" to them. No, I'm not IN love with any of them, but I do love them all to death. But what have I done for them? Maybe I've just BEEN there as a friend, but there must be more I can do. I'm lousy and ignorant with a lot of things, but people never tell me. I really wish they did though, and I want them to force me to change.

I want nothing more than to feel happier, but nothing or hardly any one is doing that. I already have the best friends I could ask for, but I also...want...

...someone I can hold onto, someone that can make me feel comfortable and happy by just being in their presence. I want someone I can cuddle, kiss, and think about nonstop. Someone that will mean the entire world to me, and someone who can show me that life is worth living. I want that person to be my purpose in life. It's all I ask, nothing more. I just don't know who, and when.

But I want to know, very soon. <3

I want to live freely and smile without it hurting. I want to feel like I'm not a burden, that people enjoy my latency. Earth is complicated, society is corrupted, and the few on this planet that actually care about the epitome of life are now lost, but they will find their way. All they need is to escape. xx

basketball, vampires, push pop, wallet, sunny d, mary poppins = ;(

Annyoung Hassaeyo! Welcome to my new post! :D

random pic of two sexy people kissing o.O

Phew, I got home about an hour ago and took a nice warm shower :3 Today fucking sucked ASS, and so did my hair.

I didn't do my hair this morning, so I came home looking like a fucking lion. My hair was crazy and everywhere, and I felt all sticky. Haid was being a bitch as usual, and I had a majour stomach cramp, not to mention me being really cold in the morning, WHILE it rained, WHILE we sprinted a fucking mile on the track.

Happier thoughtsssss :D

Ohh yeah. I have a good friend named [Franny] whom has really sexy hair and is really cute. He's little, like a little teddy bear xD anyway, he's really interested in seeing me with my old ass hair, so demanded that I bring photos of myself tomorrow o____o wow, I'm gonna look self-obsessed, much lol.

Oh yeah! I was supposed to rant about country music on here because Jacob** asked me to. Uhm...so here I go 8D

WHY DO PEOPLE HATE COUNTRY MUSIC SO MUCH?! D;

I mean, I admit; I'm not much of a country music listener, but it doesn't necessarily mean I hate it. I find every genre beautiful in its own way, and trust me, it's VERY rewarding when you're willing to seek it. Seek and embrace, people, COME ON! D:

To be honest, I think the country [as in big hills, ranches, farms, western style buildings, etc] is absolutely gorgeous! I'm a city girl and I say this! You must believe teh Seladoure :D

Please, stop hating country! Give it a chance [or at least, another one D8]! Listen to these two country tracks. I have provided free MP3 downloads for these songs, so go for it by clicking on the song title! :0)

"Red Light" - David Nail

"The Future" - Lonestar

I can almost guarantee that you'll find them really nice, so please tweet me if you do! :0)

Tweet me about it here!

This weekend I hope I'm up to much. I really want Leo [HI LEO! :D] to come to my house so we can be cam whores for myspace! I mean, after all, who DOESN'T want a Leoven in their photos?! 8) I just hope his underaged fangirls don't hunt me down. HAHA!

Looks like I'm off for the day. Sayonara, tomodachis! :B

- Seladoure. <3

** I forgave Jacob for what he did to me yesterday, but he still admitted to having some kind of obsession with my neck and collarbone, so that I still have a problem with. o____O

- P.S. My feelings for everything are either dead, or dying. -

Hello Sunshine;

Sexiest man alive, for you :)

Half an hour ago, I was called out to play a game of basketball with my friend Jacob. Now, he's 13, but like 3 inches taller than me, which is SO not cool. D:<

Anyway, of COURSE he won, and I gave him the five-dollar bill I promised him. Right before I turned to walk back home, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into this really unnecessarily longass hug. Basically, I was in the air, because he picked me up and was squeezing the life out of me. I was thinking the whole time, "Hmmm....STRAAAAAANGE."

Then, suddenly, I pushed away from him in a violent manner. What the hell did he just do?

DID HE JUST KISS MY NECK?!

I gave him this REALLY disgusted look, like " DDDDDDDD: NIGGA" and he was laughing with a face like this, " ;)"

He kept stepping toward me and I kept stepping back until I reached my garage. He tried to reach for me again but I was too quick, and he said arrogantly, "Wow, I almost bit your neck. It's so soft, Dani."

T_______T that's when I fucking split and dashed into my house, into my room, and played some Acacia Strain REEEEAALLLL loud until I became less disturbed.

That was my day.

The end.

xx